Title ‘drunken gone with the wind’- Artist Kim Joon

Society cannot do without the Artist or the Philanthropist. Both enrich, entice, revolt, and agitate the status quo. Both are vehicles of impact through the creation of conversations, often without adequate language to convey the urgent need for art. But then again, why is there an urgent need for art when poverty is rampant? As disease, inequality, sexism, war and a host of other problems sweep through our cities, why should we care about art? I asked myself the same question. Why should I care about art?  Should I care about other things more? Why does my city need this? I know the emotional reasons for art, but a logical reason had me stumped.

It wasn’t until I walked through the expansive array of visual art, curated by ArtMarket  in Fort Mason, San Francisco that I saw how disturbingly precise art’s commentary on culture and society can be. I found myself compelled  towards an exhibit in direct response to Sandy Hook, guns that looked like cake. Safe. Ruthless. Destructive.

Artist Scott Hove. Photo by Mira Veda

Artist Scott Hove. Photo by Mira Veda

Bay Area artist Scott Hove  used mixed media to sculpt a conversation about gun violence.  The symbolic renewal of food, something sweet and tasty, fused with a killing machine began to tax my intellectual resources. I was deep into a web of ontological and epistemological inquiry, standing in front of this unsettling, interesting piece of work. Why do we have guns, really? How can anyone think this is ok? How is my safety and the safety of my future children at risk when just about anyone can own a gun?

Artist Kim Joon. Photo by Mira Veda

It wasn’t long before I was confronted with something more to ponder – contemporary artist Kim Joon’s dark inspiration and metaphysical anxiety. The three-dimensional digital artwork engaged me with a tale of disturbing majesty. Joon created images to be the manifestation of human desire and pain. Perfect porcelain body parts of women and men overlaid with luxurious designer prints. These incomplete figures laid perfectly on plates as if to suggest a transformative process of digital tragedy to a more disturbing fundamental tragedy.  Sure, I could easily pull out a million conversations around society and sexism. Right there. In those pictures hate, love, commodification, separation, compromised morality, all intensified the moment I was in.

After some deliberation, I decided the mystery of art could only be experienced in the emotional realm, sort of like music. We need the beautiful, the inexhaustible – the thing that gives us an ability to connect when words can no longer convey who we are, what we do and why we do what we do. In a certain respect, the artist is the “philanthropist,” giving openly for the common good. The artist brings an unknown force of conviction, speaks with the rebel’s voice and doesn’t back down from the shadows we may fear. We need art for this reason. To take us deeper, have conversations beyond the verbiage. We need pure experience to understand that which may elude us.

artMRKT San Francisco; Photographs Courtesy of Drew Altizer Photography
Art Philanthropists Todd Traina,Dorka Keehn,Dede Wilsey, Zachary Bogue

In the same space, without the continued participation of the financial support from art philanthropists, the artist endures an excruciating attempt to find funds. Many creators know the torture of building without funding. It’s nearly an impossible task.

artMRKTSF attendees Taro Hattori,Dan Lewis,Aoi Yamaguchi,Akira Okawa
artMRKT San Francisco; Photographs Courtesy of Drew Altizer Photography

The rhythm and order of community need those who give and those who embrace. The art philanthropist knows the artist is a catalyst to change. Providing a financial resource not only allows a continuation of conversations that might be missing, it also creates cultural prosperity for all communities.

artMRKT San Francisco; Photographs Courtesy of Drew Altizer Photography

There may never be exact, direct measurements of the impact of something so ethereal, but if there were a happiness index I know music and art would be at the top. The deep emotional, contemplative gift that is given by art is one that even the poorest and most desolate of societies create and embrace. And if one were to reflect upon it, the conclusion would be – it’s cyclical. The resources simply circle, some in form of money, others in form of ideas. All of it is imperative for any type of real impact in a society. Change occurs when the emotional and the intellectual are given equal weight. There is absolutely no question in my mind why the artist and the art philanthropist are actually one and the same. It is like a metamorphic process from money to idea to art to impact. Drawing a line of connection is simple once you can see yourself as a part of the process.

In the meantime, watch this and remember it next time some says something nice to you.

Photo of St. Paul, Minnesota by Fibonacci Blue

As Minnesota voted to approve marriage equality last week, most people in my circles celebrated. Some tried to shame New Jersey and California with comments on social media to the tune of, “Minnesota has gay marriage, but New Jersey still doesn’t. New Jersey should be ashamed.”  While I agree that New Jersey should be ashamed of its marriage equality record — not to mention The Situation and Real Housewives of New Jersey — the underlying implication offends me. I’m an Iowa native and when I hear people ask how Iowa and Minnesota can adopt marriage equality before New Jersey and California the subtext that I hear is, “How do those rubes in the Midwest manage to give rights to gays, but the sophisticated coastal states can’t get their acts together?”   It’s a backhanded compliment at best.

The problem is that many of my friends, who have spent their entire lives in places like New York City or coastal California, don’t really know much about the middle of the country. Remember that New Yorker cover that famously depicted the US map from a New Yorker’s point of view? It pretty much hits the nail on the head. They know a lot less about the “flyover” states than people in the middle of the country know about them.  I’ve lived in New York City, San Francisco and Los Angeles. They are wonderful, diverse, culturally rich places, but they aren’t THE ONLY places. And they aren’t the only places that are progressive. A quick glance at the electoral map demonstrates that the Midwest is a big place and the upper-Midwest does its own, blue-state thing.

New Yorker cover art by Saul Steinberg

Growing up in Iowa, I always knew that the state had a progressive history as well as proud legacy of high educational standards (in recent years the state has slipped a bit in the education rankings). In junior high I won a national speech competition where the theme was “My State” and I chose to focus on Iowa’s stellar public education. I’ll never forget a comment from one of the national judges, “You seem to suggest that Iowa is the only place intellectuals come from.” Huh? I didn’t imply that in the least. Besides, I wasn’t supposed to talk about other states, the theme was “MY State.” Nevertheless, the feedback smacked of coastal – or at least big city – superiority.  When I went to college in New York City I had to field numerous, ridiculous questions about being from Iowa and the Midwest. People were surprised that my dad was a lawyer and not a farmer, they couldn’t believe we had professional theater and one friend was so taken aback when I told him that the state had high standardized test scores (in response to his snarky remark about Iowa) that he countered with, “Well, they aren’t higher than myyyyyyy SAT scores!”  Or higher than your ego, apparently.

Photo of Iowa City, IA by Alan Light

Why all the thin-skinned feelings about the Midwest? Most folks don’t like having their preconceived notions challenged — especially when it takes away their ability to feel superior.  The Midwest is a big place.  Making sweeping statements about the region is not any different from making sweeping statements about the eastern seaboard. Would you seriously lump New York and South Carolina into one category? No? Then don’t paint Kansas and Wisconsin with the same brush, either. And for God’s sake don’t lump us in with the south – not the same at all.

As I mentioned before, the upper-Midwest has a long history of civil rights achievements. It didn’t start in 2009, with the Iowa Supreme Court’s unanimous ruling, Varnum v. Brien, which legalized same-sex marriage.  It started long before that.

Here is a sampling of civil rights achievements in Iowa compiled from Council Bluffs Community Alliance and the City of Dubuque:

1846: Iowa demonstrated its acceptance of religious minorities by allowing safe passage of the Mormons through western Iowa who were fleeing religious persecution in Illinois.
1851: Iowa became the second state to legalize interracial marriage… a century before the rest of America.
1851: Iowa legislated that the property of married women did not vest in her husband, nor did the husband control his wife’s property.
1857: The University of Iowa became the first state university in the nation to open its degree programs to women.
1860: The Iowa State Supreme Court ruled that a married woman may acquire real and personal property and hold it in her own right.
1894: Iowa became the third state in the nation to give women the right to vote (after Wyoming in 1869 and Colorado in 1893). Women could vote if candidates were not involved (such as bond issues). Note: Utah gave women the right to vote in 1870, but then rescinded it soon thereafter. It did not give that right back to women until 1895.
1934 – First Mosque in North America Constructed in Iowa. “The first permanent mosque in North America was built in Cedar Rapids. It became known as ‘The Mother Mosque.’
1984: Rich Eychaner, a Republican, became the first openly gay man in the U.S. to run for a voting seat in Congress, running for Iowa’s 4^th congressional district.

Amelia Jenks Bloomer, early feminist and Iowa native

Minnesota has a larger population and is a little more complex, but it’s a fairly reliable Democratic state in presidential election years. It also has a long history of producing arts talent (think Garrison Keillor, the Guthrie Theater or the MST3K guys) and liberal politicians (Mondale, Humphrey).  While I find Steve King (R. IA) and Michele Bachmann (R. MN) horrible and embarrassing, it’s also important to remember that they are elected from specific, gerrymandered districts. Statewide, Minnesota and Iowa have also sent the likes of Al Franken and Tom Harkin to Washington.  Anyone who tries to pigeonhole these states into simplistic categories — whether it’s to amuse Facebook friends or as a pundit on cable news — risks looking like a fool. There is a long progressive tradition in the upper-Midwest and it may not be long before Illinois and Wisconsin (as soon as they get rid of Scott Walker) follow their neighbors by voting for marriage equality.

Still need convincing?

Check out Steven Thrasher’s moving New York Times Op-ed, Iowa’s Family Values.

Or watch Iowa’s Senate Majority Leader, Mike Gronstal as he blocks an attempt to overturn marriage equality in Iowa. He quotes his daughter, “You guys don’t understand. You’ve already lost….” Youtube.com

Another great view is Zach Wahls, the University of Iowa student who was raised by two moms. I swear this kid is going to president someday.  Youtube.com

One thing the U.S. does get right is allowing fathers to take family leave.  A few couples I know managed to tag-team it; mom takes maternity leave first and then dad avails himself of family leave, which can add up to several months between the two parents.

All that said, Canada is totally leaving us in the dust. 50 weeks?!  Holy wow! That’s a REAL reason to threaten to move to Canada, as far as I’m concerned.

Photo courtesy Christie Inge

A few weeks ago, I was reading about body image coaching online and I came across the website of Christie Inge, a coach whose approach really resonated with me. From her website, it sounded to me like Christie’s approach was part Pema Chodron and part Samantha Jones. A pretty awesome combo if you ask me. On her “About” page, Christie says, “I believe that your body is fucking brilliant and that it is the only guru you will ever need.” Cool, right? So I reached out to Christie to see if she’d be interested in a Q&A and without further ado – my interview with a body image coach.

On your website, you discuss your struggles with binge eating. How did that impact your body image and how did you overcome it?

I haven’t binged in 3.5 years. I wasn’t even aware that what I was doing was binge eating and emotional eating until about six/seven years ago. I had been binge eating since I was eight years old. My body image didn’t become a problem until I was in high school. I remember exercising for hours in my bedroom and thinking about how fat and ugly I was. When, in reality, I was technically technically underweight for my height.

In my late teens and early to mid-twenties, I was on some pretty intense drugs (cocaine, ecstasy) and alcohol and when I stopped all that, I just went right back to food.

So, for me, it was never really about just food or my body image. It was about using food, drugs, sex, and alcohol to cope with my life. And then, beating myself up for it. My sense of worth was in the toilet and those behaviors are what manifest as a result of that.

In the end, I had to learn how to love and accept myself, not just my body. This included learning how to feel my feelings, learning how to manage my mind like I would an employee, and honoring what I call my true cravings. From there, my desire to eat outside of my body’s true needs changed automatically. It is literally about changing from the inside out.

What issues or struggles do you commonly see among your clients?

I work with women who struggle with poor body image, yo-yo dieting and emotional eating. But, what it is really about for them is a lack of practical tools for listening to their body about what, when, and how much to eat, tools for working with their mind, their emotions, and their needs and even deeper than that, not loving and accepting themselves. They also tend to struggle with setting boundaries and in many cases, not even knowing what boundaries are. And they tend to be people pleasers, as well.

My clients come to me when they are at their “rock bottom,” not believing in themselves or their ability to create what they want in their lives.

My favorite quote is:

“And then the day came that the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom,” by Anais Nin.

So, in other words, they are really ready to become the deliberate creators of their relationship with food, with their body and their lives. They know that what they are doing isn’t working but aren’t really sure HOW to make it happen.

I guide them to their how.

What kinds of strategies do you use to help clients address their issues?

Well, I am a mix of woo-woo and no-nonsense practical tools and I rely on my intuition to guide me. I have a knack for being able to translate how they feel into words so that they can better understand themselves and their true cravings. I’m a bit of a cravings decoder and heart navigator.

Once we discover what the true cravings are (love, acceptance, safety, autonomy, etc), I teach them how to use their minds and their emotions as the GPS to satisfying those cravings.

Photo courtesy 123RF.com

How do you adjust your strategies for particular clients?

I meet my clients where they are and from there, just trust my instincts.

What do you think we should be doing both on the individual level and the social level to help women accept themselves and improve their body image?

Well, first, I don’t believe that the word “should” is helpful. Believing we should/have to/must/can’t really interferes with our autonomy. One of our deepest cravings is to live free, autonomous lives – following our bliss – if you will. 

So, I don’t think anyone should do anything. We each have our own inner wisdom and when followed, the world becomes a better place.

For me, my personal mission is that every woman on the planet would know and honor her inherent self-worth. From that place, only beautiful things would happen in regards to body image.

I do that by practicing what I preach.

When I love and accept myself, it shows and the women around me see it. And when they see that, it creates a desire within them to create the same for themselves. They begin to love and accept themselves and it just flows. It literally radiates. It happens automatically.

So, if a woman wants to know what she can do to impact the self-image of others, starting with herself would by my recommendation.

What do you think of media efforts like the Dove real beauty campaign?

Honestly, I don’t think about them. I don’t really read many magazines or watch much TV. I don’t watch the news. I intentionally choose where I direct my mental and emotional energy and the media isn’t normally one of those places. For me, it just doesn’t feel good.

With that said, I have seen the most recent video that is buzzing around Facebook and have mixed feelings about it. One of the reasons I avoid the media – on purpose – is because of the subconscious messaging behind it. What we take in through our ears and eyes impacts the way we think – whether we know it does or not.

I do think that campaign is a step in a better direction but I have not shared the video with my peeps and don’t plan to. When they start doing videos with women of, literally, all shapes and sizes and showing them as worthy, whole and amazing no matter what they do, achieve or look like,  I’ll consider it.

Until then, I’m focusing on my mission in the world.

While driving to work this morning, I heard the news that Angelina Jolie bravely went through a breast cancer-preventive double mastectomy. I cannot imagine how difficult this decision must have been for her. As an actor, her work depends on her appearance. Her career was built upon exhibiting an intense sexuality that somehow softened under her undeniable femininity. She was and still is the poster child for a woman comfortable with her body and beauty. She chose to give up something before it had a chance to take her, or before she was dealt the cards that would have made the decision unquestionable.

In the end, this really is a question of identity. Who are we? Is it our body parts that define us? Are we the stamp others place on us? As women, we are constantly re-defining ourselves. At every phase of life – in our work and our homes – we are bound by how we are seen and by whom we are seen. The ease with which she re-defines her life is pretty incredible and a true inspiration.

Angelina’s decision is an incredible demonstration of generosity. Why, you may ask? As a woman in the public eye, she knows her actions can be a “call to action.” What she does is often seen as a commentary about womanhood, about beauty, about love. Her actions beg all of us to re-think who we are in relationship to what we are. She could have gone through her life never inflicted with cancer- after all 87% is not 100% – but she made a difficult choice.

I also find it interesting that she didn’t choose to get breast reconstruction and keep it quiet, after all she may have gotten away with not saying anything to anyone. By talking about this decision publicly, she has started a conversation that may help both women and men to see beyond the physical in terms of their relationships with each other and with greater society. I will forever be in awe of this woman, who once again has shown the strength, love and power it takes to be a woman.

Mira.