Dating someone new can be very exciting. This was especially the case for Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, as it took less than a month for the couple to get engaged.  

However, on October 15, the couple announced they were ending their engagement after five months together. When the short-lived couple decided to get engaged, many wondered if they were moving too fast and doomed for failure. Although there is no perfect timeline for any couple to really get know each other and begin a relationship, there are often signs that a relationship might be moving a little too quickly. Here are some tips to make sure that you take your relationship at a healthy pace, end don’t end up in an Ariana and Pete situation

1. Don’t put everything else in your life on hold

Meeting someone new and interesting can make you want to be around them constantly. This can lead to investing a lot of time into the relationship quite early, even though your partner might not have asked you to. The best way to make sure you don’t forget about everything else important in your life is to have a clear conversation with yourself and the person you’re interested in that your time is important. In the end, you don’t want to sacrifice something that is really important to you like work, school, or family. Discussing this with your partner, and making sure to stick to it yourself, will help prevent you from spending all of your time on your new relationship.

2. Honest communication is key

When getting to know someone new, your conversations can often be superficial. And while this is fine for the beginning of the relationship, if you find your conversations are unable to move forward to more serious topics, you may need to slow down and reevaluate the relationship. If you are looking for something serious from the relationship, then it is necessary to convey that to your partner. These conversations are important because if you don’t feel comfortable expressing your feeling or concerns, then the relationship will lack true communication. And honest communication is the key to any healthy, lasting relationship.

3. Don’t lose sight of who you are  

At the start of a new relationship, we are always trying to project the best version of ourselves. We want to make the best impression possible. But what many of us dismiss is that we should be able to feel comfortable with our imperfections too. It’s a positive sign when our partner makes us feel emotionally and physically comfortable to show our insecurities. Compromise is necessary in any relationship, but you should never feel like you have to change yourself in any way to receive love or respect. If you feel like you are straying from your true self simply to keep your partner around, you may be giving your partner too much control way too early. Slow down and be true to yourself. If it’s right, the relationship will continue.  

4. Don’t get caught up in a fantasy of the future

When you meet someone who you feel checks off everything on your “list”, it can be very easy to start daydreaming and picturing your perfect future together. However, riding off into the sunset with your partner will have to wait. Relationships can’t be fully understood after a few good dates. You are allowed to be excited about a new relationship after you’ve had fun experiences with them. But don’t let yourself create a fictional version of what you think this person, and this relationship, is going to be in the future. Falling in love with someone’s potential is dangerous. Because unfortunately, not everyone lives up to their potential. And allowing yourself to paint a fantasy of what you believe this relationship will become can blind you from noticing possible red flags. Remember to stay in the present moment and make your judgments based on their real-life actions, not the fantasy scenarios in your head.

By: Wuendy Calmo