It can be difficult to deal with family members who “push your buttons” daily—just ask Meghan Markle. Since she has joined the Royal Family, some of her blood relatives have done just about everything possible to create unnecessary drama for the Duchess of Sussex. Currently, even the Kardashians are having unneeded family drama, however theirs is a lot more public than Meghan Markle’s.
It is important to note that there is a difference between annoying family members and family members who are toxic. A toxic family member is someone who is abusive, unsupportive and sometimes discusses your business to others without your permission. Recognizing a toxic person can be difficult because many family habits (such as gossiping) are brushed away for being something your family does.
Here are five points to keep in mind when confronting and engaging with unruly family members.
1. Define Your Relationship
Before communicating further with that toxic family member, you must first establish what type of relationship you want with those you are in conflict with. This allows you to choose whether you want them in your life anymore.
2. Create Boundaries
After making a decision of how you want that toxic family member to be in your life, you must not only create boundaries but also stick to them. Do not let others sway your resolve, not even other family members who may try and change your mind. If you believe that removing that toxic family member from your life will benefit you in a positive way, then do that. You can’t choose your family, but you can choose who isn’t your family.
3. Focus on Yourself
Whatever happened to make that family member toxic (job loss, family death, divorce, etc.), it is not your fault. You are in control of your life and yours only, do not let someone toxic blame you for their unhappiness or their current state in a situation. Refuse to let their negativity and outlook in life affect yours, remember to protect your energy and your mental well-being.
4. Acceptance
Along the lines of “you control your own life”, you must accept this toxic person as they are. Don’t waste your time trying to change them for the better, for you. Whatever is going on their life, they chose to react the way they did and place themselves in that situation. Trying to change them will not only bring on more stress in your life but it might also leave you severely disappointed if they don’t positively change.
5. You Are Not Alone
Do not isolate yourself from friends and family while dealing with this toxic person. Try to keep in mind that just because you made a decision for your well-being in life doesn’t mean that you have to block out others. Everyone has family drama, even royalty, so don’t let this toxic person and situation consume you. Let others help you through the path you choose to take.
How do you deal with toxic and unruly family members?
By: Kerasa Tsokas