We have all faced our share of adversities throughout the course of our lives, but it is how we deal with conflict that makes all the difference. One of the many human flaws I take ownership of is holding on to grudges: a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury.

While it would be easy to attribute blame to my Leo tendencies, I know that I allow resentment to fester because I possess another all-too-common human trait: self-righteousness. I often feel the need to seek retribution for past grievances. I want the world to acknowledge that I’ve been wronged. I strive for accountability and I know I am not some magnanimous karmic force that can make these things happen. I am only human, and holding onto a grudge is like a cancerous cell that continues to multiply and divide until I either accept forgiveness or admit defeat.

If holding a grudge is the emotional equivalent of cancer, then why is forgiveness so hard to give? As Mahatma Gandhi famously said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” It takes a certain kind of strength and emotional intelligence to be the bigger person and move forward, but doing so is critical for your health and overall longevity.

A study by the American Heart Association found that high levels of anger increase a person’s risk of heart disease over a lifetime. Think about it: when we experience a fit of rage, our bodies respond by increasing our stress hormone levels. This increase in adrenaline explains why, after the outburst, your heart rate quickens and blood pressure spikes. By holding a grudge you are more susceptible to having these emotional outbursts or breakdowns, increasing your risk of cardiac arrest, stroke, and arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat).

Another study conducted by the National Institute of Health discovered a surprising correlation between increased anger and the development of type 2 diabetes in adults. Of those tested, the study found that those who possessed more volatile temperaments increased their risk of acquiring type 2 diabetes by 34 percent. It should be noted that there is no direct link between the two, rather the correlation between chronic anger and the likelihood of smoking or increasing caloric intake, as a result, provides the basis for this finding.

Whether you have yet to experience the long-term chronic effects of repressed anger, you are probably at least somewhat aware of the negative short-term impact that grudges can have on your psyche. When we bottle up hostile emotions it has the potential to exacerbate feelings of anxiety, stress, and depression that weigh heavily on the stability of our overall mental health. Anger clouds our better judgment and confuses our motivations. As psychologist Laura Hayes aptly puts, “The angrier you feel the less clearly you think, and therefore the less able you are to negotiate, take new perspectives, or effectively handle a provocation.”

There is a way to break the cycle of anger and its potentially dangerous counterparts- and that is through forgiveness. Forgiveness comes in many forms: forgiving others, forgiving yourself, and accepting forgiveness. Just as there are countless adverse effects to holding a grudge, there are just as many benefits from letting go.

A study by the University of Memphis found that students who dealt with their resentments and found closure through forgiveness actually slept better and longer throughout the night. When the mental barrier formed by holding a grudge is broken down, your mind is free to explore creative pursuits, exercise individual freedoms, and even get a more restful night’s sleep. And that’s not all: learning and practicing forgiveness improves our socio-cognitive skills by helping us form social bonds and interact in group settings. Group formation is essential to human life- it is how we’ve evolved to become a dominant species. But part of the pack mentality does require some level of humility and modesty in order to understand the needs of and have empathy for others. Countless research on forgiveness has found that when both parties are able to move forward cordially, each leaves with a heightened sense of understanding that can be applied to personal goal-reaching and the improved maintenance of personal relationships.

We encourage you to let go of the mental hindrances that are holding you back. Return to work and school free of burdens by practicing acceptance and forgiveness. It is okay to feel emotions so long as they do not hold you or those around you back. Let us know how you express anger in a healthy outlet in the comments below.

By: Rachel Ladeby