I honestly don’t know why some conservatives are in a snit about the “Ban Bossy” campaign. It seems fairly benign to me. From what I can tell, writers such as Matt Walsh, are afraid that this is a liberal attempt to babysit everyone in a America (as Ron Swanson would say) or inject politically correct language into yet another aspect of our lives. However, they’re missing the point. This campaign is simply asking us to reflect on the language we use when talking to little girls. Yeah, sometimes both boys and girls are truly bossy, but it’s a label that is more often applied to little girls. C’mon, you know that’s true. It’s just one of the ways in which we gradually discourage girls from being assertive. They get the message that being “bossy” isn’t “ladylike” and if you’re not supposed to be bossy then maybe you’re not supposed to be a boss.
“Bossy” doesn’t have to rise to the level of an epithet, but maybe it should be used with care. Sometimes it might be appropriate to say something like, “Don’t boss your little sister around. That’s not your job, it’s mine.” I don’t believe Sheryl Sandberg and friends are saying that we shouldn’t correct inappropriate behavior in children; rather, we should reflect upon how often we apply the term “bossy” and under what circumstances. In fact, we should probably refrain from language that discourages ambition and assertiveness in our daughters in general.
Finally, when I watch this video I don’t see a scary bunch of hardcore, radical feminists. I see a Republican secretary of state, a phenomenally successful businesswoman and mainstream entertainers. I’m baffled that some people seem so threatened by a video that is clearly meant to be a positive campaign. This isn’t about censuring men or holding back boys, it’s simply about uplifting girls. Anyone who tries to make it about more than that is reading too much into the whole thing.
2 comments
I guess the problem I have is the cherry-picking of terms that outrage people/women. For example, Beyonce’s husband sings a song with the lyric, “I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one” and “Now once upon a time not too long ago A n**** like myself had to strong arm a hoe”. So, she’s ok with him and others calling women bitches and hoes, but not bossy? In fact, Beyonce herself sings, “Bow Down, Bitches”…So, I guess I just think it is strange that she and other women would be okay with using pretty derogatory terms to describe women but then say she has a problem with “bossy”. As Amy Poehler said, “I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody’s passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn’t mind leading.”
I don’t disagree with you. I think these are excellent points. I should have probably just said that I think this campaign is supposed to get us to think about the double standards we sometimes have when talking to girls and boys. I think it cuts both ways too. Sometimes bossy is just bossy, but some of us may be too quick to slap that label on girls. I don’t really think this campaign is just about the word ‘bossy,’ but rather to raise awareness of unfair language that we may apply only to girls or only to boys.